The past few years have been interesting, to say the least.
In 2017 I lost my Father in Law,
In 2018, I lost my Mother in Law
In 2019, we had my Mother in Law’s funeral, found out we would be moving after only a year in Florida, and a whole lot of other things happened that would make this blog post way longer than it needs to be.
In 2020, I have begun the restoration project in my life. Between 2016 and now, I have lost a lot, I have lost more I thought I would, and mostly in the process of grieving, caretaking, parenting, wife-ing, and being, I lost me.
I have been the most watered-down version of myself to keep myself from having a complete breakdown.
I had to be the strong one. I had to be the present one. I had to be the logical one. All the things… The hardest part about being the strong one is that there is no one to be the strong one for you.
Outside of the minimum times, I could speak with my husband, who was an ocean away, I had no one.
The past few years of my life were the hardest I had ever gone through.
I have been homeless, I have been kidnapped and raped, I have grown up with a mother hooked on drugs and alcohol, that took me to the drug houses with her. I have seen things that I never ever want anyone I love to see. My life has been hard, but nothing prepared me for the pain of losing important people to you, especially when you are the one doing everything you can to keep them alive.
By the grace of God, I survived, and I am grateful for that.
My word for last year was growth. I grew, thankfully, despite all of the stumbles and falls, I was still able to grow. I grew as a person, as a wife, as a mom. I am thankful for all the moments that allowed me to grow, and I am grateful that despite it all, I remained focused and devoted to helping my family thrive throughout the transition.
We are now settled in our new house in the Mid-west (more on that later), the kids start their new school tomorrow, I have an excellent job with fantastic coworkers, and my husband is living his calling of being a Chaplain.
As I reflected on the past years, one thing kept repeating to me. It was this quote, “I will make beauty from the ashes.” This quote is from Isaiah 61:3, and the full verse goes like this:
To all who mourn in Israel,
he will give a crown of beauty for ashes,
a joyous blessing instead of mourning,
festive praise instead of despair.
In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks
that the Lord has planted for his own glory.
Every time I read this, I believe that 2020 will be my year of joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair. Restoration of the losses, rejuvenation of the spirit, the remaking of me.
So friends, with that, what is your word of the year?
Until Next Taste,
Foodie Finds Home